Everyday when I sit in the staff room at the school I work, I find a group of teachers who start their morning with a session of all possible complaints, including food, home, students, school management, politics, country and anything you can imagine. I thought this was their hobby. I started relating "the half glass full or empty theory" then finally an ideas struck my mind ... why not google the reasons for such situation and the kind of people. I googled and found a long list on my search query. Ahan... it means I am not the only one knocking my head...
Anyway, I started with Dr Hermant Mittal's blog where he says that people who complain are generally people who have not developed an emotional and spiritual loving, compassionate inner adult self. They are psychologically still a wounded child in need of love, attention and compassion. Because they have not learned to give themselves the attention and compassion they need, they seek to get these needs met by others. Complaining is a way they have learned to attempt to get this. They use complaining as a form of control, hoping to guilt others into giving them the attention, caring and compassion they seek. (Full blog entry is available here.) I wonder are these teachers still that wounded child...
Then I thought can anything be done to better the staff room atmosphere?
Dr Mittal answers, yes. The inner child – the feeling part of people – needs attention, approval, caring. If people don’t learn to give this to themselves, then this wounded child part of themselves will either seek to get it from others, or learn to numb out with substance and process addictions – food, alcohol, drugs, TV, work, gambling, and so on. Complaining, like all addictions, may work for the moment, but it will never fill the deep inner need for love. Only people can fill this need for themselves, by opening their hearts to the Source of love. People stop complaining when they learn to fill themselves with love.
According to Dr Mittal chronic complainers suffer from 3 prominent clinical disorders:
a. Major Depressive Disorder
b. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
c. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
After reading the article I am reflecting, how I should deal with that group of complaining teachers. One suggestion by Dr Mittal is help the chronic complainer realize the worth of loving the self. This suggestion by itself is a mystery because it is a bit vague. It doesn't really tell "how to make people realise worth of loving the self." May be I need more reading and insights, which I will update in the following blog posts. Otherwise I will go with the final option given by Dr Mittal -
"If you can't help them realize that, help them visit a professional who can help them." lols!
Anyway, I started with Dr Hermant Mittal's blog where he says that people who complain are generally people who have not developed an emotional and spiritual loving, compassionate inner adult self. They are psychologically still a wounded child in need of love, attention and compassion. Because they have not learned to give themselves the attention and compassion they need, they seek to get these needs met by others. Complaining is a way they have learned to attempt to get this. They use complaining as a form of control, hoping to guilt others into giving them the attention, caring and compassion they seek. (Full blog entry is available here.) I wonder are these teachers still that wounded child...
Then I thought can anything be done to better the staff room atmosphere?
Dr Mittal answers, yes. The inner child – the feeling part of people – needs attention, approval, caring. If people don’t learn to give this to themselves, then this wounded child part of themselves will either seek to get it from others, or learn to numb out with substance and process addictions – food, alcohol, drugs, TV, work, gambling, and so on. Complaining, like all addictions, may work for the moment, but it will never fill the deep inner need for love. Only people can fill this need for themselves, by opening their hearts to the Source of love. People stop complaining when they learn to fill themselves with love.
According to Dr Mittal chronic complainers suffer from 3 prominent clinical disorders:
a. Major Depressive Disorder
b. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
c. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
After reading the article I am reflecting, how I should deal with that group of complaining teachers. One suggestion by Dr Mittal is help the chronic complainer realize the worth of loving the self. This suggestion by itself is a mystery because it is a bit vague. It doesn't really tell "how to make people realise worth of loving the self." May be I need more reading and insights, which I will update in the following blog posts. Otherwise I will go with the final option given by Dr Mittal -
"If you can't help them realize that, help them visit a professional who can help them." lols!